Leadership

What does it mean to be a good leader?  Can just anyone lead?  I am a great talker, not to bad a teacher, a caring friend, but am I a leader?  I want to be.  My heart is in it but I feel like i lack that special something that I see in people who have a following.  For a Shepard without sheep is rather pointless.  i have never had a lot of friends, i was never the popular kid.  I am  not really that interested in winning the approval of man.  I think of myself more of a prophet than a leader.  Prophets are told to say something regardless of peoples response to it.  It is a life of obedience even if you are hated for what you are called to say.  I say what I think God wants me to say and sometimes what i want to say.  My life has been salt and peppered with encouragers telling me I give good advice, I should be a counselor, that I write well, that I was spot on with what i had to say was from God.  Yet at the same time.  i rarely have people come to me for help.  I see people practically waiting in line to tell there stories and troubles to certain people.  I know because I have been in the cue.  Their smile, their welcoming presence, the way they listen, what they say and don't say.  All has me and others drawn to them in times of need.  i want that.  i have wanted that my whole life yet the more i try and be that the more I realize I'm not.  i want a front man.  The person everyone just loves and comes to to be my wing man.  They can give the people what i can't.  Or better yet they can teach me.  Be honest enough to show me why others don't follow me.  Sometimes I wonder if it is my life of turmoil that causes people to to lack confidence in me.  It certainly gives me caution.  Yet oddly enough I really believe that all the God's parts of my life while in turmoil are really good for everyone.  i am way more humble, or so i think, while i am still living in difficult times.  Yet I think a true teacher should have trouble behind them, living the good life, resting on their lorals as they have already won the race.  Yet i will probably be dead before I have achieved such victory.  i am OK with that as god is ever close to my side teaching me to trust in him.  What ever it takes to keep my by his side.  i get it.