Dating

Do you let your kids date?  At what age?   Well I am giving this some though  not because my daughter is getting ready to date but she does have interests.  I better set the parameters for hanging out with boys now rather then waiting for a situation where I am trying to reestablish rules.

So here is what I have come up with.   Boys of good character will  be considered once you are 16.  Until  a good candidate is found and you are at least 16 the following will be our rules.

1)  You will not be allowed to spend any time alone with a boy.  Your bed room will always be off limits even if others are present.  You will not be able to spend time together in places that are considered romantic.   No moon lit walks or movies.

2)  All activities where boys are present will be done in groups.  We will not take you on dates nor will you be allowed to sit next to a boy you like at the movies.

3)  No PDA.

4)  You will be allowed to have private conversations but only in public places.  You can sit on the front porch, the playground, the couch in the living room.  This privacy is given to allow you to get to know each other but not to be inappropriate.

I have explained to my daughter that these boundaries need to become her's not mine.  That I expect her hormones to try and talk her out of them.  She will only be able to stick to them if she find real value in what they are protecting herself from.  I tried to explain that I am trying to protect her from a desire to both physically and emotionally connect with a boy.  That we were made for such attraction and connection and that to give away your heart or body in any way will cloud your ability to see this guy for who he really is.  That if he is as amazing as you think he will be worth waiting to give even a small part of your heart to.  If you choose to guard your heart you will stay objective enough and when you are old enough we can decide together if this guy is worth dating.

We laughed as I explained how a simple brush of her arm by his hand or a compliment on how smart and beautiful she is could seen her swooning and meditating on his words for days.  While the same words and actions by a girlfriend may go unnoticed.  That this is exactly why she must guard her heart.  Hormones are not a good judge of character.