Sweet Pea Momments / Petra's Party

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Sweet Pea Momments / 1st Day of School

The Kids had a great day. Everyone was up and ready on time. We all walked to school together and Kay and Reye went off to breakfast while I looked into who would be putting Petra on her shuttle bus to Ed Franz. So often times I don't take pictures and I was so excited that things were going smooth enough for me to take some good shots. After I got Petra on the bus the twins and I went hope to drive over to Ed Franz to join Petra for Breakfast. Why wouldn't I just drive her? Well I want to get her trained to be able to go on the bus by herself. Eventually Kay and Reye will be walking with her to school without me.

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Sweet Pea Momments / Mornings

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Oh the typical spills of our morning. To start the day I take 4 Motrin to take the edge off my head/back ache. I change the twins and make my way to look at e-mail and facebook. In my blurry eyed state I forget to gate off the kitchen only to hear something fall off the counter. I call Petra to the rescue. "Mommy your medicine is all over the floor, but the babies only ate a few." Flying off my chair over the gate to extract pills from the twins. Now I have 3 eager helpers picking up pills as fast as they can as I pry them from their fingers. I ask Petra to move all the benches out the of the kitchen and I place the twins in their play area. Back to e-mail I go, only to hear Cd's being played with. Out I go again to find that Petra put the benches in with the babies so they are having a hay day with all the electronics by the TV. Now it is time for breakfast. I get the babies set up, everyone is dressed and Kay is in charge of the babies. I take a shower to return to flying cereal bowl at the hand of Grant. Now the big kids are doing chores and the babies are playing. Randy came home for a few minutes to find the twins picking apart their disposable diapers. I guess I will be vacuuming soon. Kay has taken till just this minute 12:12 to finish cleaning up after breakfast. "Hurry up Kay, Hurry up Kay, don't you want to play before we set the table for lunch Kay."

Sweet Pea Momments / Fruit Salad

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We had fruit salad tonight and Petra told me she was glad I left the salad out because she doesn't like salad.

Ideas / Housework

My 3 year old Petra Sorting Laundry

How do you clean your house? Do you do it all in one or two days? Do you follow Flylady? What is your story? I feel like I have tried it all yet am never done. I have finally resolved to have a check list for the month with boxes for the number of times I need to to complete a task each month. Some times I get it all done in a few days and other times it takes me the full two weeks to do each thing just once. It is a good feeling to be able to see that I have at least done something even though the house may be cluttered with toys and art supplies. This is especially helpful when trying to tell my husband that I really did a lot that day. He is wonderful and never complains about the state of the house but I want him to be proud of me. I use to try and follow Flylady and still do when it comes to the morning and evening routine. I just found that with 5 kids I have to put my plans aside for fun and work almost on a daily basis. If I planned to do my "Home Blessing Hour" on Monday and everyone is sick I am already behind the eight ball. Now I just go with the flow with a check list versus a schedule. I also put the kids to work.

Sweet Pea Momments / Pool Rules

One of the best parts about being a SAHM is all the great things that our kids say. I was going over the pool rules with my kids in the car before we got to Grandma's house and was asking everyone to give me a rule or two. Well Reye, my 7 year old, pipes up with don't run in the street and don't dry off under water. Then a after swimming for a while Petra, my 3 year old, takes off all her foaties. I tell her to NOT go back in the pool unless she puts the foaties back on. I tell her that she could drown and die if she falls in the pool. She promptly responds by telling me that Jesus could raise her from the dead.

Day to Day / Best Pregnancy

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The Best Pregnancy Ever…

I believe this will be my best pregnancy ever. Wow, how different from my fears after loosing our baby of May. I can see it now.

I thought it could never be better than when I was pregnant with my 1st, Kay. I was excited, I read, journaling all my thoughts and feels but it was mostly about what was happening and changing inside me, the physical changes and the mothering instincts being birthed in me. I remember a few visions of what Kay would be but I started nesting so early that there wasn’t much room for those thoughts.

With my 2nd, Reye, I saw a few picture but actually pushed away thoughts of him as I was busy with a 6 month old and soon their after a demanding family hardship, the mold claim. Nothing was new so I just drifted through, not only the pregnancy but almost the 1st year of his life. He was an easy baby. All during this time I was saddened by this loss of connection but thought it was just the way of the second child, likened to that of your 2nd time to have ice cream. The bewilderment and amazement had worn off, left with only the taste, memory and sensation.

God knew that my hearts desire was to experience each child as it was my 1st. I had prayed this many times. I could never imagine that he could take to place even higher.

My 3rd, our baby of May fell into the small box of what I thought the rest of my pregnancies would be. Doctors visits, body changes, loss of self, expensive, exhausting, physically demanding, time consuming with the only real joy to come at the end of the journey. Even after just the short 10 weeks I had with baby May it seemed like an eternity of sacrifice. I was angry that I had lost that time and that I would have to recover, try again then experience at least 9 months of a grueling pregnancy till we could have another baby. I knew nothing of baby May when she went to be with God. This was my grief, this was my sadness. I had to search my soul for any glimpse that God may have shown me. I had been to busy planning the sleeping arraignments, watching the medical bills and stressing out over how our lives would change. A 3rd was out of my comfort zone. This was for Randy, his desire for a big family. I knew that I loved them once they were born but the fear and drudger of the pregnancy made his desire for a large family less than appealing.

My 4th pregnancy, the protector will definitely be the best pregnancy ever. It doesn’t matter if he fulfills his mission here on earth or on heaven for I am still co-creating him with God for the life he will have. Best of all God has shown me the precious gift of being pregnant. The revelation that life begins at conception and that I can know this little person through Gods revelations, even now. I get to learn how to train him up before he is born. Just as Mary was told of Jesus’ destiny, God desires to share parts of this mystery with all those he breaths life into.

This has also changed my view of the child that I lost. When told that our baby of May would not have made it due to genetic malformations I envisioned that it was God’s grace to have saved all of us from the thousands of malformed, dysfunctional babies born. A tragic gory picture with its only comfort that I wouldn’t have to live it. I believed that God took these poor defenseless, broken children and made them whole in heaven. But likened to my image of the day we would go up to heaven I envisioned that the child would know that it was broken and had to be mended. The child would know the grief of being separated from it’s family, a sad angel at best. Just like the leper that will be disease free when he goes to heaven. Now I see the unborn child differently, there is no imperfection to be found in the child of the womb, just destiny and purpose. God creates some life through us for heaven and some for earth, for we are the bearers of life for both.

I pray that God would begin to reveal the great plan he has for our precious baby of May, her life’s mission where she was destine to live, in heaven.

I think I will seek some Biblical counsel to be sure that this lines up with God’s word. My heart tells me it does, but the word will prove what is true.