Ideal Protein
I am on a road to loose a minimum of 45 pounds. It is a bit scary as I see my family eating What a Burger. Going through the line, Waiting to come home to prepare my food. Will I steel a fry, will I feel deprived? Yet day 1 went well. I liked the food and the vitamins gave me no trouble. I stayed strong and felt good about it. It is totally embracing to share the raw data of how big I really am. But i am not doing it to tell those i love. I am doing it to record how this is going for me and to share with others that need to hear my story.
My sinus are in real trouble. Yet I feel much better this morning. Maybe all the water I am drinking is helping. I still struggled to sleep but I feel alert and in good spirits eager to make this work and take on the day.
Weekly Monitoring
Weight Lost/gained - 208.2 (Dr.s office w/ clothes & shoes)
Measurements Lost/gained - Bust (44), Waist (50), Hips (51)
Rate the following on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best)
Attitude 9
Physical effects 9
Impact Family 9
Cheating/Temptation 9
Outlying factors that made this day challenging 5
(family ate out, I was struggling with REAL sinus trouble)
Friday, February 8, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Leadership
What does it mean to be a good leader? Can just anyone lead? I am a great talker, not to bad a teacher, a caring friend, but am I a leader? I want to be. My heart is in it but I feel like i lack that special something that I see in people who have a following. For a Shepard without sheep is rather pointless. i have never had a lot of friends, i was never the popular kid. I am not really that interested in winning the approval of man. I think of myself more of a prophet than a leader. Prophets are told to say something regardless of peoples response to it. It is a life of obedience even if you are hated for what you are called to say. I say what I think God wants me to say and sometimes what i want to say. My life has been salt and peppered with encouragers telling me I give good advice, I should be a counselor, that I write well, that I was spot on with what i had to say was from God. Yet at the same time. i rarely have people come to me for help. I see people practically waiting in line to tell there stories and troubles to certain people. I know because I have been in the cue. Their smile, their welcoming presence, the way they listen, what they say and don't say. All has me and others drawn to them in times of need. i want that. i have wanted that my whole life yet the more i try and be that the more I realize I'm not. i want a front man. The person everyone just loves and comes to to be my wing man. They can give the people what i can't. Or better yet they can teach me. Be honest enough to show me why others don't follow me. Sometimes I wonder if it is my life of turmoil that causes people to to lack confidence in me. It certainly gives me caution. Yet oddly enough I really believe that all the God's parts of my life while in turmoil are really good for everyone. i am way more humble, or so i think, while i am still living in difficult times. Yet I think a true teacher should have trouble behind them, living the good life, resting on their lorals as they have already won the race. Yet i will probably be dead before I have achieved such victory. i am OK with that as god is ever close to my side teaching me to trust in him. What ever it takes to keep my by his side. i get it.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Dating
Do you let your kids date? At what age? Well I am giving this some though not because my daughter is getting ready to date but she does have interests. I better set the parameters for hanging out with boys now rather then waiting for a situation where I am trying to reestablish rules.
So here is what I have come up with. Boys of good character will be considered once you are 16. Until a good candidate is found and you are at least 16 the following will be our rules.
1) You will not be allowed to spend any time alone with a boy. Your bed room will always be off limits even if others are present. You will not be able to spend time together in places that are considered romantic. No moon lit walks or movies.
2) All activities where boys are present will be done in groups. We will not take you on dates nor will you be allowed to sit next to a boy you like at the movies.
3) No PDA.
4) You will be allowed to have private conversations but only in public places. You can sit on the front porch, the playground, the couch in the living room. This privacy is given to allow you to get to know each other but not to be inappropriate.
I have explained to my daughter that these boundaries need to become her's not mine. That I expect her hormones to try and talk her out of them. She will only be able to stick to them if she find real value in what they are protecting herself from. I tried to explain that I am trying to protect her from a desire to both physically and emotionally connect with a boy. That we were made for such attraction and connection and that to give away your heart or body in any way will cloud your ability to see this guy for who he really is. That if he is as amazing as you think he will be worth waiting to give even a small part of your heart to. If you choose to guard your heart you will stay objective enough and when you are old enough we can decide together if this guy is worth dating.
We laughed as I explained how a simple brush of her arm by his hand or a compliment on how smart and beautiful she is could seen her swooning and meditating on his words for days. While the same words and actions by a girlfriend may go unnoticed. That this is exactly why she must guard her heart. Hormones are not a good judge of character.
So here is what I have come up with. Boys of good character will be considered once you are 16. Until a good candidate is found and you are at least 16 the following will be our rules.
1) You will not be allowed to spend any time alone with a boy. Your bed room will always be off limits even if others are present. You will not be able to spend time together in places that are considered romantic. No moon lit walks or movies.
2) All activities where boys are present will be done in groups. We will not take you on dates nor will you be allowed to sit next to a boy you like at the movies.
3) No PDA.
4) You will be allowed to have private conversations but only in public places. You can sit on the front porch, the playground, the couch in the living room. This privacy is given to allow you to get to know each other but not to be inappropriate.
I have explained to my daughter that these boundaries need to become her's not mine. That I expect her hormones to try and talk her out of them. She will only be able to stick to them if she find real value in what they are protecting herself from. I tried to explain that I am trying to protect her from a desire to both physically and emotionally connect with a boy. That we were made for such attraction and connection and that to give away your heart or body in any way will cloud your ability to see this guy for who he really is. That if he is as amazing as you think he will be worth waiting to give even a small part of your heart to. If you choose to guard your heart you will stay objective enough and when you are old enough we can decide together if this guy is worth dating.
We laughed as I explained how a simple brush of her arm by his hand or a compliment on how smart and beautiful she is could seen her swooning and meditating on his words for days. While the same words and actions by a girlfriend may go unnoticed. That this is exactly why she must guard her heart. Hormones are not a good judge of character.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Accountability Partners for Leadership
Initial Interview
Why accountability?
1 1)
What do you believe about the Bible, prayer and
being led by the Holy Spirit? Do you
think your views would line up with the beliefs of most of the leadership in
this church? Do you have any
applications of God’s word that you think might be unique to you? Do you think the rest of modern day
Christians are wrong about certain things? What do you believe Christ’s death and
resurrection did to our requirement to follow the law? If we are under grace rather than the law
then to what benefit do we have in continuing to submit ourselves to the law? If we are no longer under the full Islamic
law of the Old Testament. How do you
know what aspects of the law you are to follow and what aspects are not
required? If God is still the same
yesterday, today and forever then does this age of grace allow us to be in
God’s presence, and be guided by His word and Spirit if we live continually
seeking grace without true repentance?
Do you have aspects of your lifestyle that you know are against God’s
law that you choose to participate in regularly. For example:
Everyone in my family explodes at the drop of a hat that is just how we
are. God made me this way. Therefore you have stopped repenting and
trying to change. Not only have you
stopped repenting you now justify and defend your behavior. Are you open to re-evaluating your
justifications in light of God’s word and guidance of the Holy Spirit?
*You may need to stop and reassure the person you are
interviewing that you are not trying to judge them. They may be afraid to answer honestly if they
struggle with wrong thinking about God’s word.
Remind them that you are only here to help them see themselves in light
of God’s word. It will be their choice
to allow the Holy Spirit to convict. It
is important as the interviewer to NOT try and persuade them to right
thinking. Speak truth, from the
Word. If you sense resistance write a
note to yourself that this is an area of you will pray for them to have a break
through. Remind yourself you have sewn
God’s seed, you must water it with prayer and possible fasting. Resorting to many words to convince them will
only fuel their fire to defend their position.*
2)
2) What do you believe the bible says about the
standard leaders are to be held to?
Let’s have a look at some verses.
OK now that we know, let’s unpack these verses. How do you see that you measure up? Is God calling us to a level of perfection no
man can attain? If not, what are we to
do when we have moments, days or season where we are not meeting this
standard? Is our only choice to step
down, hide it or quit? If not what are
our options?
3) 3)
Do you believe that accountability could help
you be the leader God intended you to be?
4) 4)
What hang-ups or preconceived ideas do you have
about accountability that makes it less than desirable? For example I already have a nagging wife, I
know my faults all too well, and my dad never stopped pointing them out. What I like about being an adult is not
answering to anyone. Be prepared to show
empathy and reinforce that criticism is not in and of itself helpful for growth. Be prepared to share verses about how
authority misused to dominate causes pain and suffering. Be prepared to pray and break the lies that
have been spoken over this person. You
may want to set a separate time to pray and seek God’s healing as you don’t
want to move to quickly and negate the Holy Spirits moving.
5) 5)
What do you think good accountability would look
like? Have you ever experienced it?
What would you be accountable for?
6) 1)
What does your quiet time look like? How often and for how long do you
read/pray/praise. What do you do to
apply God’s word? How often do you feel
inspired by the word? How often do you
find yourself caught up by the Holy Spirit?
Delighted to be in God’s presence?
How often are you thinking about other things, bombarded with other
thoughts, not able to even remember the words you have read? Tell me of a time in your life when your
quite time really spoke to you? What was
different? In light of this conversation
what do you want your quiet time to look like and how do you want me to keep
you accountable? *Help your interviewee
to stretch themselves but be practical.
7)
2) What does your relationships with your wife and children look like? Do you have areas in the way you respond to them that troubles you or them? *Redirect the conversation if they try and point fingers at the poor behavior of those in their family. For example: Wow that would be hard to deal with. I can see how that would be frustrating. Let’s look at how you respond when that happens. Is it helping or hurting the situation? Also if they bring up major issues you may want to refer them to getting some outside help.* Now that we have reflected on how you react to your family what would you like to be held accountable for? *Keep this to a short list if they are seeing need for much change. Remind them that trying to change too much at once would most likely lead them to a path of failure. Now have them share what they are doing right in there relationships. Add this to your list. You want them to share the good they are doing weekly as well as the areas they struggle with.
2) What does your relationships with your wife and children look like? Do you have areas in the way you respond to them that troubles you or them? *Redirect the conversation if they try and point fingers at the poor behavior of those in their family. For example: Wow that would be hard to deal with. I can see how that would be frustrating. Let’s look at how you respond when that happens. Is it helping or hurting the situation? Also if they bring up major issues you may want to refer them to getting some outside help.* Now that we have reflected on how you react to your family what would you like to be held accountable for? *Keep this to a short list if they are seeing need for much change. Remind them that trying to change too much at once would most likely lead them to a path of failure. Now have them share what they are doing right in there relationships. Add this to your list. You want them to share the good they are doing weekly as well as the areas they struggle with.
8)
3) What does your relationship with yourself look like? For example: Do you push yourself to hard, do you lack self-discipline, do you have emotional issues, depression, mood swings, do you have some “go to” patterns of sin that are waying you down? *I know this may seem heavy. So let’s move on to what you feel you are good at, what you want to keep doing.* so what are the ways you are taking good care of yourself?
3) What does your relationship with yourself look like? For example: Do you push yourself to hard, do you lack self-discipline, do you have emotional issues, depression, mood swings, do you have some “go to” patterns of sin that are waying you down? *I know this may seem heavy. So let’s move on to what you feel you are good at, what you want to keep doing.* so what are the ways you are taking good care of yourself?
9)
4) How are you impacting those you have influence
on? *Let your interviewee know that good
leadership will be a byproduct of them having success in the above 3 areas of
their life. For when we are free from
the entanglements of sin and are listening to God he will lead us to lead. So the abundance of opportunities they have
had to influence or lack thereof will most likely be in direct proportion to
how they pursue God’s path in these areas.
*Now this information should be converted into a concise
bulleted document that can be used by both parties for accountability and
prayer. Now establish how and when you
will meet. You may decide to meet
electronically weekly and just once a month face to face. Be realistic.
You want this to be a help not a burden.
The interview process should be the longest meeting you have. I recommend giving each person only 5-10
minutes per topic. If a topic seems like
it needs more time table it. Then after
both parties have shared in all areas you can decide if you have time to
revisit the tabled topics. You don’t
want either party to be short changed nor do you want time to become a burden.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Boundary Setting
1) Write down the name of person you are struggling to establish boundaries with.
2) Write down issues that have caused you to feel your personal boundaries have been crossed. Pray that the Lord would begin to heal the wounding this has caused. For your pain and fear will stand in the way of your objectivity. Pray the Lord give you strength to stand up for yourself.
3) Take that list and re-write it as boundaries you would like to have. Remember to set small boundaries at 1st. Ones you are confident that you will be able to follow through with.
4) Write down your action step when the other party does not respect those boundaries. Be realistic.
5) Write down what you will get back for yourself and for your relationship if these boundaries were to be followed.
6) Tell a friend. Be ready to adjust your boundaries and action step.
7) Tell the person you are struggling with that you are sorry that you have not been predictable in how you respond. That out of love for yourself and your relationship you are going to be working on your yes being yes and your no being no. Tell them in love how you have let them take advantage of you. Ask for forgiveness for how you have responded to feeling taken advantage of. Be specific. I am sure you have been ugly to them. Example have you (nagged, guilt, stonewalled, manipulated, etc.) Ask for forgiveness for this. NO SARCASM. Then tell them what your boundary will be and what your action will be if not respected. This is not a threat. This is just a fact. Then open a conversation on what both of you think you could get back if this boundary is respected. Don't judge, just listen to their view. If they can't find anything positive to say empathizes with them that you understand that it will take time for them to adjust to this change. Then change the subject. Don't let them drag you down or try an talk you out of your boundary. This is a great place to interject humor. "Look at you trying to talk me out of my new convictions, Ha you almost got me. Not this time bro."
8)Be prepared for it to get worse before it get's better. Be prepared to ask for forgiveness from this person every time they try and push you to let your boundaries down. For example "I can understand why you keep ... I have allowed this for a long time. I am sorry I haven't been stronger in the past. I am sorry that you are having to adjust to a new me. But this boundary isn't moving nor is my reaction to your request. Remember, I love you and more importantly I love us. So again I have to say ..." Now try and find humor and get off the topic. A positive diversion is your best tactic at this point. Remember your MO (nagging, manipulating, yelling, crying) DOES NOT work.
9)After they try and push your boundary go back and read/remind yourself of what you will get if this boundary is finally respected. For you are just at the beginning of the race and you have a long way to go to get to the finish line. It is worth it. You are worth it. Your relationships are worth it. Keep pressing in and keep believing that one day you will win that race with your loved one at your side.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thanksgiving 2012
1 Pet 6-9
6 You now rejoice in this hope, even if it’s necessary for you to be distressed for a short time by various trials. 7 This is necessary so that your faith may be found genuine. (Your faith is more valuable than gold, which will be destroyed even though it is itself tested by fire.) Your genuine faith will result in praise, glory, and honor for you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Although you’ve never seen him, you love him. Even though you don’t see him now, you trust him and so rejoice with a glorious joy that is too much for words. 9 You are receiving the goal of your faith: your salvation.
This is what I am truly thankful for. The working out of my salvation tested and approved by my victory over my own sin in the many trials I face. The moments where I would have chosen an angry or self seeking response and the power of God through His grace has acted through me. That my time in obedience to be in the word and pray has transformed my actions. Not that I can boast for it is truly Christ in me that is taking over little by little as I surrender to Him. If I am to boast in anything it is in my knowledge of my weakness and utter helplessness to change my circumstances and my knee jerk destruction ways. Praise God for this revelation for I am finding victory in areas that I never thought possible. God is transforming my tongue. Causing me to be slow to speak. Some times I think I am being gagged by the Holy Spirit but I am choosing to submit to being held silent.
I want to shout this amazing grace of God from the hill tops for I know many Christians that are held captive by their own short comings. I am far from perfect and their are many areas that I have yet to find victory over but their is hope. If God can take me this far in just a few years of being fully submitted to hear his voice, read his word and pray continually then I stand on his word that a full victory over my sinful nature and circumstances can be achieved. Maybe not in this lifetime but I will see and experience myself as completely set free from the effects of in heaven.
Why do I consider it pure joy to endure trials and submit my will and my time to the Father? Because God is truly amazing. A light brighter than any other. To be in His presence is an oasis from my circumstances. It is the one time in my day that I need not reflect on how I will react to someone. The Lord wants to be with me, yes me and I get to sit at his feet and just rest in all that he has to impart. It is a time of receiving, breathing in life and restoring my very soul.
6 You now rejoice in this hope, even if it’s necessary for you to be distressed for a short time by various trials. 7 This is necessary so that your faith may be found genuine. (Your faith is more valuable than gold, which will be destroyed even though it is itself tested by fire.) Your genuine faith will result in praise, glory, and honor for you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Although you’ve never seen him, you love him. Even though you don’t see him now, you trust him and so rejoice with a glorious joy that is too much for words. 9 You are receiving the goal of your faith: your salvation.
This is what I am truly thankful for. The working out of my salvation tested and approved by my victory over my own sin in the many trials I face. The moments where I would have chosen an angry or self seeking response and the power of God through His grace has acted through me. That my time in obedience to be in the word and pray has transformed my actions. Not that I can boast for it is truly Christ in me that is taking over little by little as I surrender to Him. If I am to boast in anything it is in my knowledge of my weakness and utter helplessness to change my circumstances and my knee jerk destruction ways. Praise God for this revelation for I am finding victory in areas that I never thought possible. God is transforming my tongue. Causing me to be slow to speak. Some times I think I am being gagged by the Holy Spirit but I am choosing to submit to being held silent.
I want to shout this amazing grace of God from the hill tops for I know many Christians that are held captive by their own short comings. I am far from perfect and their are many areas that I have yet to find victory over but their is hope. If God can take me this far in just a few years of being fully submitted to hear his voice, read his word and pray continually then I stand on his word that a full victory over my sinful nature and circumstances can be achieved. Maybe not in this lifetime but I will see and experience myself as completely set free from the effects of in heaven.
Why do I consider it pure joy to endure trials and submit my will and my time to the Father? Because God is truly amazing. A light brighter than any other. To be in His presence is an oasis from my circumstances. It is the one time in my day that I need not reflect on how I will react to someone. The Lord wants to be with me, yes me and I get to sit at his feet and just rest in all that he has to impart. It is a time of receiving, breathing in life and restoring my very soul.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Hints on How to Be a Friend
Hints on How to Be a
Friend
======================
1. Be Trustworthy.
When a friend tells you a secret, keep it.
Don't repeat it to others.
Trust is a vital part of friendship.
Loss of trust can destroy a friendship.
2. Be sensitive.
Be aware of a friend's needs. Try to know when your friend
needs to be with you and when your friend wants to be alone.
Respect his or her wish for privacy and need for personal space.
3. Be dependable.
If you make a promise to a friend, keep it.
Don't let your friend down.
Be there for him or her in good times as well as bad.
Let friends know they can count on you.
4. Be a good listener.
Kids like to talk to someone who listens actively.
Show a genuine interest in the things that are important to your
friend.
Maintain eye contact while he or she talks.
5. Be honest.
Let a friend know how you feel.
If a friend says or does something that hurts you, talk it over
with him or her privately.
Express your feelings as honestly as you can, and encourage your
friend to do the same.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Be accepting by Christy Klepetko (the above should be exercised in light of the following)
Only be close friends with safe people. We are all hardwired differently and just because you like to be with someone doesn't mean you will have the same values or approach to life. Friends whose actions compromise who you are should be kept at an emotional distance. Enjoy what you have in common, accept them for who they are, but guard your heart that you not compromise who you are. The distance required to maintain these types of relationships should be in direct proportion to how easily you are compromised. So be willing to look at what happens to YOUR character when you spend time with them. Compromise is often like a chemical reaction. It is the part of your GOOD character that is put in that is compromised. This will rarely birth the behavior the other is doing at 1st. For example: You trusting a friend that lies to you will most likely not cause you to lie. Yet it will have the byproduct of distrust. To hold a liar as a close friend will eventually cause you to believe that all will lie to you. This has now compromised your character. Yet their is hope. For God told us to be in the world but not be of it. He also said he will give us the strength to overcome temptation yet sometimes we must flee. Jesus could be with the worst of sinners and not compromise who he was. The more time we spend with Christ the more we will be able to be around those that are are entangled in sin without being compromised. So listen to the Holy Spirit and flee when he says flee. Asking the Lord to gird you in His truth, that next time you can come a little closer without being burned. For our victory is found in being like Christ. For their redemption can only be found in a relationship with the loving Father for which we may be the bridge.
___________________________________________________________________________
A Social Studies lesson passed out to a third grade class.
Taken from "Feelings About Friends," (c)1988-The Learning Works.
======================
1. Be Trustworthy.
When a friend tells you a secret, keep it.
Don't repeat it to others.
Trust is a vital part of friendship.
Loss of trust can destroy a friendship.
2. Be sensitive.
Be aware of a friend's needs. Try to know when your friend
needs to be with you and when your friend wants to be alone.
Respect his or her wish for privacy and need for personal space.
3. Be dependable.
If you make a promise to a friend, keep it.
Don't let your friend down.
Be there for him or her in good times as well as bad.
Let friends know they can count on you.
4. Be a good listener.
Kids like to talk to someone who listens actively.
Show a genuine interest in the things that are important to your
friend.
Maintain eye contact while he or she talks.
5. Be honest.
Let a friend know how you feel.
If a friend says or does something that hurts you, talk it over
with him or her privately.
Express your feelings as honestly as you can, and encourage your
friend to do the same.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Be accepting by Christy Klepetko (the above should be exercised in light of the following)
Only be close friends with safe people. We are all hardwired differently and just because you like to be with someone doesn't mean you will have the same values or approach to life. Friends whose actions compromise who you are should be kept at an emotional distance. Enjoy what you have in common, accept them for who they are, but guard your heart that you not compromise who you are. The distance required to maintain these types of relationships should be in direct proportion to how easily you are compromised. So be willing to look at what happens to YOUR character when you spend time with them. Compromise is often like a chemical reaction. It is the part of your GOOD character that is put in that is compromised. This will rarely birth the behavior the other is doing at 1st. For example: You trusting a friend that lies to you will most likely not cause you to lie. Yet it will have the byproduct of distrust. To hold a liar as a close friend will eventually cause you to believe that all will lie to you. This has now compromised your character. Yet their is hope. For God told us to be in the world but not be of it. He also said he will give us the strength to overcome temptation yet sometimes we must flee. Jesus could be with the worst of sinners and not compromise who he was. The more time we spend with Christ the more we will be able to be around those that are are entangled in sin without being compromised. So listen to the Holy Spirit and flee when he says flee. Asking the Lord to gird you in His truth, that next time you can come a little closer without being burned. For our victory is found in being like Christ. For their redemption can only be found in a relationship with the loving Father for which we may be the bridge.
___________________________________________________________________________
A Social Studies lesson passed out to a third grade class.
Taken from "Feelings About Friends," (c)1988-The Learning Works.
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