Healthy Habits / San Antonio Living, June 2nd

E-mail from San Antonio Living. They are coming out on June 2nd.

I'd love to have your kids be a part of this. Don't worry about the twins - I want people to see that you are a real family dealing with real financial stuff.

This looks good - we can use this as "script" for the shoot. If you want to have some props ready to help demonstrate what you are talking about - we can have you open the fridge and freezer when you talk about saving on groceries/cooking. You could hang some clothes on the line when you talk about the laundry.

Let's pick out your top 5-8 or so tips to talk about for the segment. I can post the rest on our website for our viewers to read. If you do a blog - we can possibly link that on our website.

Here's how I'm imagining the taping to go:
"Hi Shelly. I'm Christy Klepetko .. My husband and I have five kids. We survive on one income - but we are debt free. I'm going to share with you some of our ways to cut back on spending .. while still having a great time."
1. Groceries - explain
2. Electric Bill - explain
3. pick another
4. pick another
5. Good Attitude - Shelly, we have to keep a good attitude and keep a debt-free mentality... etc.

We can show some of the kids doing chores, you making lists, cutting coupons - whatever you guys do. Let me know if you have any questions.

Thanks again for doing this for us.

Laura Breeden
Producer, San Antonio Living, saliving.com
1031 Navarro St. San Antonio, Texas 78205
(210) 476-1080

Healthy Habits / Debt Free 2009

How does a Family of Seven Become Debt Free and Live on One Income?

Current Family Dynamics:

We are a family of seven. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have five kids. We have an 8 yr old girl, 7 yr old boy, 3 ½ girl, and 16 month old twin boys. We make a modestly low income for a family our size.

History of Income Flow:

At the time my husband and I married, and throughout most of our working life, we have both made approximately the same income. We both graduated from college. At the time that we started having children, I advocated to my employer that I could do my job in half the time and just be available from home. I was allowed to do this and still receive the same benefits and salary for over 9 years. Both of our incomes continued to increase as we were given more responsibility and changed jobs. During this time my husband had one lay off for 6 months where we 1^st learned to tighten up and at one point my position became unstable and I was required to work full time. I then transferred to another company and stayed there for 5 years before becoming a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). About a month before the birth of our 4^th and 5^th children, my husband left his job to do freelance work. Knowing that this could be unstable, we pulled from long term savings and paid off our 1^st house to minimize our expenses. We also moved all of my husband’s 401(k) portfolio into something more secure. I was now the primary breadwinner and the one carrying insurance for the family. My husband’s business did fairly well, but certainly not well enough to support our family. A few months after the twins were born, things at my work began to change in-line with the downward turn of the economy. Bottom line, I was eventually told that all my hours would need to be worked in the office and this would have put our family at a negative cash flow, due to our childcare/travel/work expenses, so I put in my notice. This was a move of faith as at this time my husband had few job prospects and even fewer new contracts. God had always provided for us and I had felt strongly throughout my working career that as long as motherhood was my 1^st priority, that I would continue to work. Two weeks after becoming a SAHM my husband was offered a full time job for less than what he wanted, but exactly what I use to make. He took it.

How We Live/What Do We Do Differently?

Attitude

This is the most important part. If you feel deprived, similar to dieting, you will “fall off the wagon”. I had to look at it as a challenge where by I am rewarded by our bank account continuing to grow and being secure that when a crisis hits, we are ready. I also tell myself that everything comes in its season. One day I do hope to be rewarded with a new couch, dinette set, bedroom set, and many other things, but for now my joy is found in my family, rather than those things that we sit on or use. I also had to learn that to enjoy our lives; I had to be willing to let my house be clean, safe, but not perfect. My children will only be with me for a short time and if I am going to play with them, I can’t be cleaning all the time.

Debt-Free Mentality

We both owe a lot to our upbringing. Our parents are of the “Builder Generation” and they taught us the importance of hard work, saving and buying with money that you have, not that you will some day earn. We both grew up in homes where our parents practiced wise spending and due to this, along with their skills, training, education, and cunning, they became wealthy. Even with this wealth, they continued to spend modestly and/or well within their means. My husband and I have, and continue to use, credit cards as a way to track our expenses, yet they have always been paid in full every month. When we make decisions to make large purchases cars, home additions, etc., we always budgeted for them and paid them off quickly. We usually went for high payments to ensure that we paid things off quickly. Now that we don’t have any house or car payments, we put away a sizable amount of money in the bank so that we will hopefully be able to pay cash when we need another car.

Efficiency

I had to re-write this definition. I have only been a SAHM since January and when I worked part-time, efficiency was about speed and delegation. I cooked meals and menu-planned, but not to find the best price.

Now, efficiency is about how we can spend less. It doesn’t matter if it is a sacrifice or takes more time. As long as it can be done with my family or be used to teach my kids, we do it.

Cleaning

While I was working, I had a Nanny, or Mommy’s Helper, who did laundry and light cleaning, and a housekeeper that cleaned and changed sheets every two weeks. The down side of this was lack of reliability and inadequate job performance. Now either I do it or delegate to the kids. The kids have chores.

Child Care

Having someone else take care of our kids was never what was best. No matter how good the teachers are, they are not mom. Having infant twins and a toddler receiving care meant that this was an exorbitant expense for us. Another drawback, was the fear that maybe I wasn’t a good mother. I had never been with them full time and I wondered if I could handle it. Well I am more than handling it. I love it. Some days I am less patient than others but all in all I am more relaxed and more focused on what is important, raising and developing the character of my precious children.

Eating Out

McDonald’s– we use to get a meal for each of the kids. Now we get a 50 piece bucket of nuggets, a sandwich for my husband and I and water. We add a few fresh veggies from home and we can feed the whole family for $25.00 ??? (2 x Monthly)

Date Night/Lunch – Sometimes my husband has a few minutes for lunch. He’ll pick up a lunch for us and we’ll share a few moments, while the twins are asleep. (2 x Monthly)

Eat out with a kid – When we have to take out a child to an event we use this as an opportunity to eat out. This creates a special time with that child, but costs so much less. (Per Event)

Cooking

I cook most things from scratch. I also cook in large quantities so that I am not heating the house daily by cooking. The three items I cook in batches are chicken, beans and ground meat. We also eat eggs for breakfast once a week. My husband also does a fair amount of grilling and we do this in large amounts to freeze. With all this meat already prepared it is easy to put together a multitude of meals in a snap. This really helps to curb impulse restaurant dining.

Groceries

I tried the coupon route and found that with the exception of a few items it was not a savings for me. I cook from scratch and I can buy those ingredients many times over the value of a coupon.

Meat – I used to menu-plan and buy the meat on my list, regardless of the price. Now I buy what is on sale and then meal-plan around that.

Milk – With 16-month old twins, we put down the milk at my house. We combine whole/powdered milk. This is not only saves money, but also space.

Yogurt – I now buy the large container of plain and make my own fruit to be added. I take frozen fruit and cook it with a little sugar. I then freeze it for a serving of yogurt.

Carrots – We use to buy baby carrots and now we buy the big bag.

Cheese – We use to buy shredded now we buy the big block and shred it.

Diapers- We use cloth in house and only use disposable for outings. We have a sprayer at the toilet to remove the poop and then just pop a load in every other day.

Paper towels – We rarely use them. We use wash cloths. Now at first I hated it because they would stink. Now I just rinse them out, hang them on a drying rack and when I have enough in my wash cloth bag, I wash them with a little bleach. Then my three year old gets practice at folding.

Bottled Water – We don’t use them, except in a pinch.

Snacks – I don’t buy prepackaged foods. I buy a few large containers of crackers, looking for the lowest price per unit. Yet these snacks are still only used in a pinch. My elementary kids are so hungry after school that I basically serve lunch. They have boiled eggs, cheese, meat, soup, fruit, etc. I don’t let them graze. My kitchen is only open four times a day.

Breakfast – We eat cereal, eggs, regular oatmeal, and corn meal mush. With the exception of cereal, it is all cooked from scratch.

Drinks – The kids and I drink water. My kids and I get plenty of calcium from vegetables, yogurt and cheese. We also eat fruit daily which is much better than juice. If my husband wants beer or soda, it comes from his personal budget. He rarely drinks soda anymore, as we now brew a gallon of tea for him every other day.

Electric Bill

We have cut our bill in half since I have been doing the following:

Heating/Cooling – This has definitely been a personal sacrifice, but well worth the bottom line. While I was working I wanted to be comfortable in the summer. So, when I got home, I kept the house at 74 during the day and 72 at night. Now, I keep it at 78 day/ 74 nights. I have the windows open in the morning, use a few box fans, and wear an ice pack around my neck if I am hot.

Laundry – I hang about 75% of our laundry on the line. This makes for special time with my little ones as they play and swing in the back yard as I work.

Reuse, Repurpose, Make Do

This is probably one of my favorite things to do. I see a need in our home and I begin to look around my home for a solution. It may not be as pretty as I would like, but the best part is that it is free.

Dividers vs. Building a Wall - My husband got some office dividers for free from his work and even though we didn’t have an immediate use for them we knew the day would come. We now have two dividers breaking up our girl’s room and three making a wall within our living room.

Accordion Doors – We had some accordion doors that we removed to expand a closet. These doors have been used as room dividers, table tops and a baby gate.

Bungee Cords – The latch on our baby gate after 5 kids had fallen out of the wall. Since we had a shelf with pegs I was able to use a bungee cord to close it. I also used the bungee cords to hold bonk blocks to the bottom as the twins figured out how to slide under the gate. The cost to replace gate would have been $250.00.

Buy Used or to Last Forever

We buy everything from clothing to furniture used. The rule of thumb is the amount of wear it is going to have on it. For example, our couches and dinette set are all used because we have little ones. My table cost less than a trip to McDonalds ($10.00) and my couches have absorbed way too many bottle spills.

Now our entertainment center we bought to last, so it is sold wood and was bought new. This was purchased only because the one I had from college finally fell apart.

Family Support

My parents have been very supportive and have bought some rather large items for us. Now if we had bought these ourselves we either would have done without or we would have bought them used to fit our budget. I guess the point is, if you have family that wants to enrich your lives let them in a practical way.

Christmas Presents

We have been making our own presents for the past 10 years. Since this is labor intensive everyone only gets one present. The children have never gotten store bought Christmas presents from us other than what comes in the stocking. Even with a large extended family I have kept the Christmas budget to under $300.00 for presents for 20 people.

Birthday Parties

We don’t do big party places. For the little ones we just invite family and for the older ones we let them pick to be King/Queen for the day or have 5-7 friends over. A nice gift and the party is usually under $100.

Entertainment

We rarely go anywhere that isn’t free. I belong to a play group. The kids and I go to play dates, parks etc., with this group. The family plays games and goes to Scouting, kid’s sports, family events, and church events. We do pay for the kids to be in sports and Scouts but that’s it.

Clothing

We have been graced with extended family that passes on their kids’ clothes. With the exception of my oldest, we have spent very little on clothing. Now this may not seem like a sacrifice, but sometimes it is. I have a child that loves a certain color and sometimes I see something adorable that my daughter would love, but I don’t buy it. My kids have more than enough. There is also an organizational element to storing those things people have given you, or that you want to pass down. I work very hard to keep it all organized so when we need it, we can find it.

Medical Expenses

This is where we probably spend the most of our money. Ironically, we meet the low income limits for our children to be on CHIP. However, because of our ability to save we have too much money in our savings to qualify. To me this is a travesty that those of us that choose to live bellow our means regardless of how little we make are ineligible because we save. It is no wonder that the poor of this country have been taught to be dependent on the state, and not self supportive through wide economic sense.

Conclusion

One of the best parts about being debt free and living within our budget is the trust that it builds within our family. My husband and I keep our money separate. He takes care of certain bills and I do the same. I trust that he is doing his part and he trusts that I am doing mine. With this trust we are able to extend freedom to spend our miscellaneous spending as we see fit.

Prayers / Blogging Set-up

Well I really like my page. I hope we don't get any viruses from it. It sure would be nice to not have to worry about all that. I have so many ideas and things I want to post.

Day to Day / Kay Found Retro Bill

Retro Bill came to Kay's school today and it was a big hit for her. She likes that he does safety tips and how his hair looks.

http://www.retrobill.com/

Healthy Habits / Blessed Wife

Image by law_keven via Flickr

I was reading from this WEB site for a little daily devotional…

The Word of God tells us that ALL women want to "wear the pants" in the family! All of us want to be in control!

Genesis 3:16 tells us of the consequences of the fall of man. It tells us that because the woman usurped her authority that she would "want to control her husband, but he will dominate you.”

So the truth is that we, as women, are ALL controllers...It is the a part of "the curse"!
So if it is a part of who we are--what can we do about it?

http://www.internetcafedevotions.com

This is right on... I hadn't really thought of it as part of the curse in quite some time. God had convicted me in this area about 4 years ago and it has been life changing. Here are a few nuggets that I learned:

1) My children will learn how to rebel against authority by the way I rebel against my husbands. Ouch.

2) If I want my husband to grow in God in the big things I must trust him in the small things. Examples (dressing the baby, not 2nd guessing how he parents, etc.) Mathew 25: 14-30 Parable of the Talents

3)My plan may be better but my husbands plan will be blessed. I'll take the blessing. Example (mud in your eye to cure blindness) Anyone know the address to this story?

4) I was made to birth his dreams. I had to ask myself if I even knew what his dreams were. I was a dream masher as his dreams weren't practical. Who ever had a practical dream.

5) I was made to be his helpmate not the other way around. Remember ladies this is earned. He is not going to trust you with his heart till you have proved yourself in the small things. Example (Can you get me a drink, make me a sandwich, come to bed, etc.) If we say do it yourself these small things why would he ask us to carry his heart, team with him is ministry, etc.

That's all my nuggets for now.

Healthy Habits / Poem of Me 2005

I am who I am, and yes I still am discovering who that might be, a mother, a wife, a woman of many desires and talents. Patients, peace a tranquility all sound so boring to me if not combined with adventure, thrills and wide open seas. Those are the thoughts that smile within, awaken my sole and invigorate me.

Yes to be invigorated, stirred up and set aflame with an undying passion for more that is me. Let me feel the sweat on my brow as I climb the highest peak, let me live as life is meant to be, each day full of bright skies and silver linings. Life is what you make it when there is only me but not with a family of three.

Am I selfish and undisciplined when it comes to these? Minimize the doldrums of daily domestic life so that the bird within can soar freely with the babes entrusted to me. Run, play, climb a tree …paint, blow bubbles, and just be one and three. Yes this too invigorates me and caries my soul to higher heights. Why does it make so little sense to those around me that naps, breaks and mundane tasks deplete the wonder within me?

Am I just an immature child sulking when put to bed or needing to carry the load? Am I fighting with the parent within, obedient to the task but ever desiring to wiggle out of the responsibility? Pay for it, delegate it, and organize it till those things that I like not are but a miniscule part of me.

But what for the want of rest for my bodies wear bones. I have long but waited till my body demands rest from me. Liken to a child yet potty trained, willing to be soiled for a few more minutes of pleasure. Confounded and confused by the mess that lies before me.

Lord, oh Lord how do I awaken a passion for discipline within me? Mediocrity and rigidity is all that I see. I life in the flat lands with oh so boring scenery. Please show me the other side of disciple of body and mind for I see a brief glimpse of mountain it would give me time to climb. Let me break through the barrier that has confounded what I see.

Day to Day / Best Pregnancy

Image via Wikipedia

The Best Pregnancy Ever…

I believe this will be my best pregnancy ever. Wow, how different from my fears after loosing our baby of May. I can see it now.

I thought it could never be better than when I was pregnant with my 1st, Kay. I was excited, I read, journaling all my thoughts and feels but it was mostly about what was happening and changing inside me, the physical changes and the mothering instincts being birthed in me. I remember a few visions of what Kay would be but I started nesting so early that there wasn’t much room for those thoughts.

With my 2nd, Reye, I saw a few picture but actually pushed away thoughts of him as I was busy with a 6 month old and soon their after a demanding family hardship, the mold claim. Nothing was new so I just drifted through, not only the pregnancy but almost the 1st year of his life. He was an easy baby. All during this time I was saddened by this loss of connection but thought it was just the way of the second child, likened to that of your 2nd time to have ice cream. The bewilderment and amazement had worn off, left with only the taste, memory and sensation.

God knew that my hearts desire was to experience each child as it was my 1st. I had prayed this many times. I could never imagine that he could take to place even higher.

My 3rd, our baby of May fell into the small box of what I thought the rest of my pregnancies would be. Doctors visits, body changes, loss of self, expensive, exhausting, physically demanding, time consuming with the only real joy to come at the end of the journey. Even after just the short 10 weeks I had with baby May it seemed like an eternity of sacrifice. I was angry that I had lost that time and that I would have to recover, try again then experience at least 9 months of a grueling pregnancy till we could have another baby. I knew nothing of baby May when she went to be with God. This was my grief, this was my sadness. I had to search my soul for any glimpse that God may have shown me. I had been to busy planning the sleeping arraignments, watching the medical bills and stressing out over how our lives would change. A 3rd was out of my comfort zone. This was for Randy, his desire for a big family. I knew that I loved them once they were born but the fear and drudger of the pregnancy made his desire for a large family less than appealing.

My 4th pregnancy, the protector will definitely be the best pregnancy ever. It doesn’t matter if he fulfills his mission here on earth or on heaven for I am still co-creating him with God for the life he will have. Best of all God has shown me the precious gift of being pregnant. The revelation that life begins at conception and that I can know this little person through Gods revelations, even now. I get to learn how to train him up before he is born. Just as Mary was told of Jesus’ destiny, God desires to share parts of this mystery with all those he breaths life into.

This has also changed my view of the child that I lost. When told that our baby of May would not have made it due to genetic malformations I envisioned that it was God’s grace to have saved all of us from the thousands of malformed, dysfunctional babies born. A tragic gory picture with its only comfort that I wouldn’t have to live it. I believed that God took these poor defenseless, broken children and made them whole in heaven. But likened to my image of the day we would go up to heaven I envisioned that the child would know that it was broken and had to be mended. The child would know the grief of being separated from it’s family, a sad angel at best. Just like the leper that will be disease free when he goes to heaven. Now I see the unborn child differently, there is no imperfection to be found in the child of the womb, just destiny and purpose. God creates some life through us for heaven and some for earth, for we are the bearers of life for both.

I pray that God would begin to reveal the great plan he has for our precious baby of May, her life’s mission where she was destine to live, in heaven.

I think I will seek some Biblical counsel to be sure that this lines up with God’s word. My heart tells me it does, but the word will prove what is true.