Baby of May / God’s Hammock…

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Stay in God’s hammock between heaven and earth is the only place to be. Faith that God’s will is being carried out in both my life and the baby I carry. What a hard place to stay. The bitter truth of our frailties is disheartening. Reality has not changed; I have only entered into it. Oh, how peaceful and safe I felt believing that with each pregnancy I could do it better, that my experience and gained knowledge could save us from sorrow. I trust God with what is best; having all the pieces before him, but this doesn’t change the fact that my baby may not make it. This is maddening Lord. I feel likened to a child pining away to their Father only to be given silence as an answer. The Father says, you may have your baby if it is safe, if you are ready, and if I dare to part with this precious one. But Father, when will it be safe, what must I do to be ready and when will you tell me if you will part with our precious one? Just rest in my peace between heaven and earth and have faith that when my answer comes you can be comforted by them. To be ready my child gaze upon my face for your child is meant for great things that only I can tell you. As I share with you the plans I have for your child, his path will be made clear. Let your pains during this time center you with your baby in the hammock of my love as you surrender to my will between heaven an earth. Oh, Lord please give me the desire to rest in this place of unknown, for this is not where I want to be. Please show me the goodness of your love and light that I know in my head can only be found in you. Help my heart to make that leap.

12/29/04