Healthy Habits / Debt Free 2009

How does a Family of Seven Become Debt Free and Live on One Income?

Current Family Dynamics:

We are a family of seven. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have five kids. We have an 8 yr old girl, 7 yr old boy, 3 ½ girl, and 16 month old twin boys. We make a modestly low income for a family our size.

History of Income Flow:

At the time my husband and I married, and throughout most of our working life, we have both made approximately the same income. We both graduated from college. At the time that we started having children, I advocated to my employer that I could do my job in half the time and just be available from home. I was allowed to do this and still receive the same benefits and salary for over 9 years. Both of our incomes continued to increase as we were given more responsibility and changed jobs. During this time my husband had one lay off for 6 months where we 1^st learned to tighten up and at one point my position became unstable and I was required to work full time. I then transferred to another company and stayed there for 5 years before becoming a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). About a month before the birth of our 4^th and 5^th children, my husband left his job to do freelance work. Knowing that this could be unstable, we pulled from long term savings and paid off our 1^st house to minimize our expenses. We also moved all of my husband’s 401(k) portfolio into something more secure. I was now the primary breadwinner and the one carrying insurance for the family. My husband’s business did fairly well, but certainly not well enough to support our family. A few months after the twins were born, things at my work began to change in-line with the downward turn of the economy. Bottom line, I was eventually told that all my hours would need to be worked in the office and this would have put our family at a negative cash flow, due to our childcare/travel/work expenses, so I put in my notice. This was a move of faith as at this time my husband had few job prospects and even fewer new contracts. God had always provided for us and I had felt strongly throughout my working career that as long as motherhood was my 1^st priority, that I would continue to work. Two weeks after becoming a SAHM my husband was offered a full time job for less than what he wanted, but exactly what I use to make. He took it.

How We Live/What Do We Do Differently?

Attitude

This is the most important part. If you feel deprived, similar to dieting, you will “fall off the wagon”. I had to look at it as a challenge where by I am rewarded by our bank account continuing to grow and being secure that when a crisis hits, we are ready. I also tell myself that everything comes in its season. One day I do hope to be rewarded with a new couch, dinette set, bedroom set, and many other things, but for now my joy is found in my family, rather than those things that we sit on or use. I also had to learn that to enjoy our lives; I had to be willing to let my house be clean, safe, but not perfect. My children will only be with me for a short time and if I am going to play with them, I can’t be cleaning all the time.

Debt-Free Mentality

We both owe a lot to our upbringing. Our parents are of the “Builder Generation” and they taught us the importance of hard work, saving and buying with money that you have, not that you will some day earn. We both grew up in homes where our parents practiced wise spending and due to this, along with their skills, training, education, and cunning, they became wealthy. Even with this wealth, they continued to spend modestly and/or well within their means. My husband and I have, and continue to use, credit cards as a way to track our expenses, yet they have always been paid in full every month. When we make decisions to make large purchases cars, home additions, etc., we always budgeted for them and paid them off quickly. We usually went for high payments to ensure that we paid things off quickly. Now that we don’t have any house or car payments, we put away a sizable amount of money in the bank so that we will hopefully be able to pay cash when we need another car.

Efficiency

I had to re-write this definition. I have only been a SAHM since January and when I worked part-time, efficiency was about speed and delegation. I cooked meals and menu-planned, but not to find the best price.

Now, efficiency is about how we can spend less. It doesn’t matter if it is a sacrifice or takes more time. As long as it can be done with my family or be used to teach my kids, we do it.

Cleaning

While I was working, I had a Nanny, or Mommy’s Helper, who did laundry and light cleaning, and a housekeeper that cleaned and changed sheets every two weeks. The down side of this was lack of reliability and inadequate job performance. Now either I do it or delegate to the kids. The kids have chores.

Child Care

Having someone else take care of our kids was never what was best. No matter how good the teachers are, they are not mom. Having infant twins and a toddler receiving care meant that this was an exorbitant expense for us. Another drawback, was the fear that maybe I wasn’t a good mother. I had never been with them full time and I wondered if I could handle it. Well I am more than handling it. I love it. Some days I am less patient than others but all in all I am more relaxed and more focused on what is important, raising and developing the character of my precious children.

Eating Out

McDonald’s– we use to get a meal for each of the kids. Now we get a 50 piece bucket of nuggets, a sandwich for my husband and I and water. We add a few fresh veggies from home and we can feed the whole family for $25.00 ??? (2 x Monthly)

Date Night/Lunch – Sometimes my husband has a few minutes for lunch. He’ll pick up a lunch for us and we’ll share a few moments, while the twins are asleep. (2 x Monthly)

Eat out with a kid – When we have to take out a child to an event we use this as an opportunity to eat out. This creates a special time with that child, but costs so much less. (Per Event)

Cooking

I cook most things from scratch. I also cook in large quantities so that I am not heating the house daily by cooking. The three items I cook in batches are chicken, beans and ground meat. We also eat eggs for breakfast once a week. My husband also does a fair amount of grilling and we do this in large amounts to freeze. With all this meat already prepared it is easy to put together a multitude of meals in a snap. This really helps to curb impulse restaurant dining.

Groceries

I tried the coupon route and found that with the exception of a few items it was not a savings for me. I cook from scratch and I can buy those ingredients many times over the value of a coupon.

Meat – I used to menu-plan and buy the meat on my list, regardless of the price. Now I buy what is on sale and then meal-plan around that.

Milk – With 16-month old twins, we put down the milk at my house. We combine whole/powdered milk. This is not only saves money, but also space.

Yogurt – I now buy the large container of plain and make my own fruit to be added. I take frozen fruit and cook it with a little sugar. I then freeze it for a serving of yogurt.

Carrots – We use to buy baby carrots and now we buy the big bag.

Cheese – We use to buy shredded now we buy the big block and shred it.

Diapers- We use cloth in house and only use disposable for outings. We have a sprayer at the toilet to remove the poop and then just pop a load in every other day.

Paper towels – We rarely use them. We use wash cloths. Now at first I hated it because they would stink. Now I just rinse them out, hang them on a drying rack and when I have enough in my wash cloth bag, I wash them with a little bleach. Then my three year old gets practice at folding.

Bottled Water – We don’t use them, except in a pinch.

Snacks – I don’t buy prepackaged foods. I buy a few large containers of crackers, looking for the lowest price per unit. Yet these snacks are still only used in a pinch. My elementary kids are so hungry after school that I basically serve lunch. They have boiled eggs, cheese, meat, soup, fruit, etc. I don’t let them graze. My kitchen is only open four times a day.

Breakfast – We eat cereal, eggs, regular oatmeal, and corn meal mush. With the exception of cereal, it is all cooked from scratch.

Drinks – The kids and I drink water. My kids and I get plenty of calcium from vegetables, yogurt and cheese. We also eat fruit daily which is much better than juice. If my husband wants beer or soda, it comes from his personal budget. He rarely drinks soda anymore, as we now brew a gallon of tea for him every other day.

Electric Bill

We have cut our bill in half since I have been doing the following:

Heating/Cooling – This has definitely been a personal sacrifice, but well worth the bottom line. While I was working I wanted to be comfortable in the summer. So, when I got home, I kept the house at 74 during the day and 72 at night. Now, I keep it at 78 day/ 74 nights. I have the windows open in the morning, use a few box fans, and wear an ice pack around my neck if I am hot.

Laundry – I hang about 75% of our laundry on the line. This makes for special time with my little ones as they play and swing in the back yard as I work.

Reuse, Repurpose, Make Do

This is probably one of my favorite things to do. I see a need in our home and I begin to look around my home for a solution. It may not be as pretty as I would like, but the best part is that it is free.

Dividers vs. Building a Wall - My husband got some office dividers for free from his work and even though we didn’t have an immediate use for them we knew the day would come. We now have two dividers breaking up our girl’s room and three making a wall within our living room.

Accordion Doors – We had some accordion doors that we removed to expand a closet. These doors have been used as room dividers, table tops and a baby gate.

Bungee Cords – The latch on our baby gate after 5 kids had fallen out of the wall. Since we had a shelf with pegs I was able to use a bungee cord to close it. I also used the bungee cords to hold bonk blocks to the bottom as the twins figured out how to slide under the gate. The cost to replace gate would have been $250.00.

Buy Used or to Last Forever

We buy everything from clothing to furniture used. The rule of thumb is the amount of wear it is going to have on it. For example, our couches and dinette set are all used because we have little ones. My table cost less than a trip to McDonalds ($10.00) and my couches have absorbed way too many bottle spills.

Now our entertainment center we bought to last, so it is sold wood and was bought new. This was purchased only because the one I had from college finally fell apart.

Family Support

My parents have been very supportive and have bought some rather large items for us. Now if we had bought these ourselves we either would have done without or we would have bought them used to fit our budget. I guess the point is, if you have family that wants to enrich your lives let them in a practical way.

Christmas Presents

We have been making our own presents for the past 10 years. Since this is labor intensive everyone only gets one present. The children have never gotten store bought Christmas presents from us other than what comes in the stocking. Even with a large extended family I have kept the Christmas budget to under $300.00 for presents for 20 people.

Birthday Parties

We don’t do big party places. For the little ones we just invite family and for the older ones we let them pick to be King/Queen for the day or have 5-7 friends over. A nice gift and the party is usually under $100.

Entertainment

We rarely go anywhere that isn’t free. I belong to a play group. The kids and I go to play dates, parks etc., with this group. The family plays games and goes to Scouting, kid’s sports, family events, and church events. We do pay for the kids to be in sports and Scouts but that’s it.

Clothing

We have been graced with extended family that passes on their kids’ clothes. With the exception of my oldest, we have spent very little on clothing. Now this may not seem like a sacrifice, but sometimes it is. I have a child that loves a certain color and sometimes I see something adorable that my daughter would love, but I don’t buy it. My kids have more than enough. There is also an organizational element to storing those things people have given you, or that you want to pass down. I work very hard to keep it all organized so when we need it, we can find it.

Medical Expenses

This is where we probably spend the most of our money. Ironically, we meet the low income limits for our children to be on CHIP. However, because of our ability to save we have too much money in our savings to qualify. To me this is a travesty that those of us that choose to live bellow our means regardless of how little we make are ineligible because we save. It is no wonder that the poor of this country have been taught to be dependent on the state, and not self supportive through wide economic sense.

Conclusion

One of the best parts about being debt free and living within our budget is the trust that it builds within our family. My husband and I keep our money separate. He takes care of certain bills and I do the same. I trust that he is doing his part and he trusts that I am doing mine. With this trust we are able to extend freedom to spend our miscellaneous spending as we see fit.