Parenting / Potty Training

Image by bcostin via Flickr

I see potty training in stages. Stage 1 is training mommy/daddy to follow a schedule and get them on the potty every 30-45 minutes, track when they have accidents. This helps you to know when and how often they actually go. Then you start putting them on the potty at the times you think they will need to go, still about every 45 minutes. Stage 1 is also about making potty time fun and special with mommy/daddy. We read all our books while sitting on the potty. I reward the boys for just sitting for the whole time I read and they get an extra reward for going. The goal is for them to want to sit. If you take them this often they will go. I also try and let them run around in underwear or nothing at all when ever I can. This helps them but mostly you recognize when they go. Diapers are great but don't help much in potty training. We also have to untrain going in the diaper. I would say do this for a week or two religiously, if going well, keep it up, if not, try again in a month or so.

The other reason to work on stage 1 when they are really little is they haven't really separated themselves from you. Once they get to the: me, mine, and the, I'll do it my way, they often struggle against you in potty training and then you have a behavioral problem on top of potty training.

In this stage I don’t show any disappointment when they go potty on the floor or in their diaper. I use only positive words and encouragement. “Let’s go potty in the potty next time.”

Now stage 2 starts when they actually seem to have made a connection between being wet, what is happening in the potty and your praise. It is at this point that I use both positive and negative reinforcement. Great job when they go in the potty and just verbal encouragement and a little show of disappointment when they have an accident. "Sherman, look at the floor/your pants, they are all wet. Let's try and go next time in the potty. I know you can do it."

Now with Petra she was fully potty training after stage 2.

Now Reye needed another stage, 3. Hopefully you won't need a stage 3. He was 3 1/2 before he was potty trained. He had no interest and I didn't really use stage 1, with me consistently putting him on the potty. He wasn't responding to anything I did. He isn't motivated by praise or punishment. He loved Spiderman at the time and we had loads of Spiderman stuff. I had finally had enough one day at a park. He pooped in his pants, told me he needed to go potty where he dumped it on the floor, pulled up is dirty pants and came out. I was so motivated in my moment of clarity. All of his Spiderman stuff went in jail (laundry basket). I made him collect everything from toys, to shoes, plates, etc. He was horrified. I told him he could have one thing back if he went potty and everything back if he went a whole day.

He was potty trained in TWO weeks.