Rest or Run

The inner battle of my mind is yet on the go fast and furiously battling my next heart felt goal. If I could only be a stay at home mom. Check. I praise God it is everything I ever wanted.
If I could only have time to myself to exercise, clean, write, have lunch and date my husband. Check.
If I could only loss the weight so I could be healthy. Hmm... Eat right. All that planning, preparation. Can I really do it now? My heart tells me to be patient. Rest in this new place of freedom away from my kids before I launch into another thing that required me to plan and be accountable. On the other hand I want all this exercise to pay off. I want all my goals realized now. Opportunity is knocking at my door. I want it easy. Lord help me do it without the failure and anxiety

Stealth to Sloth and back again

Image by gardenghelle via Flickr

I want to be stealth all the time. I want to have big smiles, full of energy and direction every day till I just drop in the bed at night. This is my ambition my constant drive to find that perfect balance that will allow me to function at this extremely high level all the time. Impossible as it may seem I shine a little brighter inside everyday I hit that high mark and often times feel equally as low when I dip way bellow the line. Today is one of those sloth days. Head in a cloud as ideas and ambitions dance in my head yet no time to focus on making them a reality. Constantly on hyper alert for the next thing the twins will get into. My ears strained to hear the tiniest sound of trouble. Falls are not my biggest worry. It is them finding their way into a bathroom and unloading all the toilet paper, pouring soap on the ground, eating TUMS, sisters beads, crayons, writing on the wall etc. My ears hurt trying to exercise my secret super Mommy powers. My head aches as I battle my desire for a few moments to collect my thoughts with my twins needs for CONSTANT supervision.

Transition to Toddler Beds

Image by EssjayNZ via Flickr

My twins have reached a new phase called I can escape my bed. They both still need the nap but were just tickled with being able to get out of bed, that they were having way to much fun to sleep. Well today I was the "Back to bed" lady. I sat in the hall and was ready to get them back to bed the second they escaped. They are both in toddler beds now. After 40 minutes all was quite for 2 1/2 hours. My goal is to be on them faster than they can reach the door for the next couple of weeks. I am hoping and praying that if they see mom isn't letting up they will just settle down and sleep.

Marriage / Happy Wife for Life

Should our men step up and help lighten our load when they aren't working 40 hours a week? This may seem reasonable but I say just keep on with your job as a SAHM regardless of if he is busy working or not. Stability and happiness is found more in knowing what I can expect from myself and others. I find the best way to get my husband involved is to give him control, and respect him when he delegates those responsibilities to me. It is all about communicating at the right time.

When the hubby is around the house more than usually everyone has their own ideas about how the time will be spent. When Randy has had more time during different season's I thought we would have wonderful family time, but in actuality when he wasn't working, and looking for work, it took allot out of him mentally. He would never say it but when a man isn't providing like he wants to I think it is hard for them to relax and enjoy the family.

At dinner I would casually ask my husband what the game plan was the for next day. If I knew I would have a hectic day I would ask if he would help me out. Key point here is that I if he said "NO" I wouldn't let it upset me. If he said "maybe" I would fill him in on what I had going and ask him if he was interested in helping with anything that I had going or if he had any suggesting for handling my day. I have to remember that my husband is NOT one of my kids. He deserves to be apart of the decision making process rather than just being told what I need done.

I plan to be happily married till the day I die and the only way I am going to get their is if I make a choice to live peacefully with my mate. I feel sad when I see the number of couples that are struggling or not making it.

Do I have the perfect marriage? Yes

Does my husband sweep me off my feet? Yes

How can that be? In my heart and soul I choose to look for how we can be God's perfect mate for each other and how I can deliberately love him. It is through this lenses that my marriage is perfect.

Day to Day / Cosy

Image via Wikipedia

Sipping my coffee by the computer just feeling all warm and cosy today. We walked this morning and the air was crisp, clean and cool. Now we are home and I just want to settle into the couch with a good book and snuggle with my favorite little guys.

Duty is calling me as this is wash day. I also have a yearning to clear out our overflowing house. Toys, strollers and clothes are bursting at the seams. On top of that I did a big clear out not to long ago and have yet to reorganize the now open spaces. Odds and ends have drifted to fill the space but not to my liking.

I am debating on getting rid of my smaller clothes that are taking up space in my garage. I think I should wait. I am working on losing weight for the 1st time in a long time.

I would really like to find a helper with the clear out. This is definitely not something my hubby and I do together. I am good to get the OK from my sweet pack rat to let the stuff go. If he did it with me I am sure we wouldn't have but a bag for the Salvation Army.

Healthy Habits / Contra Dancing

Image via Wikipedia

Back to one of my 1st loves... Contra Dancing. The best part was sharing with my girls. All three of us went dancing and Kay danced the whole time. She either asked someone or she was asked. Petra did a great job watching and the Contra Dancers were so gracious to help her through a dance or two. She was even asked to Waltz. I was so glad to have enough energy to dance most of the night. Many of the faces were the same and it had been few years since I had gone.

Lightfoot Challenge / 32 Days

Image by The Eggplant via Flickr

I hope I can blame my weight gain on the weather. Sounds crazy but every part of my body is swelling like I was a sponge holding water. It is raining outside but you would think I had been sitting out in it soaking it up like the ground.

I am not even going to post my weight. What a set back. I have been doing everything I should and I gain a pound.

On a positive note I feel great about the exercise plan that I have put in place. Up until now I have always tried to fit exercise in around my kids and chores. This meant that it was the 1st thing I took off the list when life was demanding and with 5 kids that is all the time. Now I can get exercise and give to my kids. I always feel good about me as the mommy when I take them for a walk. I am really loving the band exercises at the park.

So, regardless of if I ever drop a pound I will keep up the exercise. I feel better and I have more energy.

Now eating right. That is a sore spot. Sometimes I find myself just hilarious. I was mad when I hit the scale this morning so who do I take it out on, myself. I had a hot chocolate just to stick it to the scale. Then to top it off I ate half a large pizza. That will show my scale whose boss.

Where does that dumb logic come into play? Oh well tomorrow is another day.